CHILDREN OF THE LAMBS - Pulp fiction. A crime/action/suspense/black-humor novel with a backdrop of human clones, most of whom are female, willing, and dumber than dirt. In other words, a book barely ahead of its time.
When the
unattached,
blond head—beautiful, female, long- haired—rolled
off the
cliff
and
skidded to a stop at his sandy feet, Jack spun around in a panic.
Nobody in
sight. OK! It had better be okay.... His 9MM Walther was out of
reach, farther
down the beach where he'd absent-mindedly left it with the beer cooler
and
the empties and the boat.
She had skidded to a stop on her mouth, and the sand on her fresh lipstick was hard to brush off. But, hey! He was a beach-comber and this head was the ultimate find! Young, pretty, still warm -- and a hell of a better catch than a glass fishnet float. Even better than a tightly wrapped bale of Jamaican drift-bud. And whoever did her in had even thought to lift her blond mane out of the way before severing the neck at the shoulders!
Jack was ecstatic. Wait till the guys back at Rasputin's Marina saw this! She had bright-blue eyes, too, even if the lids were too stiff to close, plus there were her un-plucked, sexy, thick eyebrows -- his favorite kind.
Status:
On disk, MS printed, and awaiting Fate. To paraphrase Elmore Leonard: I
left out the
parts
readers would skip.
sample
chapterShe had skidded to a stop on her mouth, and the sand on her fresh lipstick was hard to brush off. But, hey! He was a beach-comber and this head was the ultimate find! Young, pretty, still warm -- and a hell of a better catch than a glass fishnet float. Even better than a tightly wrapped bale of Jamaican drift-bud. And whoever did her in had even thought to lift her blond mane out of the way before severing the neck at the shoulders!
Jack was ecstatic. Wait till the guys back at Rasputin's Marina saw this! She had bright-blue eyes, too, even if the lids were too stiff to close, plus there were her un-plucked, sexy, thick eyebrows -- his favorite kind.
LOWBOY - First in a new series of trucker P.I. mysteries. (mystery/crime/pulp fiction)
Bull Schaffner: long-haul truck driver and amateur P.I.. He bathes frequently, he exercises every day, he's picky about hookers, and he cheats on his log only when he has to. So why does everything always seem to go wrong?
McKay Trucking is missing a rig and a driver, and the company is hoping Bull can find them. Preferably the uninsured rig with the load intact—a combined worth of a quarter-million dollars. The driver, well, hunt for him on your own time.
Status: MS finally typed to disk. 86,000 words, 399 typescript pages.
sample: Chapter 1 sample: Chapter 24
FLATBED - A graphic and poignant memoir of non-celebrity life on the road.
A front-seat ride through the concrete combat zones of America: our highways and loading docks. The tour ranges from the sultry heights of the Pompano Beach landfill in Florida to a HazMat war-zone in Little Rock; from an abandoned steel plant in Cleveland to the terror of an LSD flashback in the Appalachians; from the high of a pocket full of cash to the bleakness of maxed-out plastic on the Boston beltway: the author, kicked out of his tractor, shivering alongside the accumulated belongings of three months on-the-road stacked four feet high at the curb.
"A truck driver who can write (after spitting out the gum), John Aalborg is always happy to share his working-class, non-PC thoughts along the way, revealing how he and other teamsters feel about God, about government, about losers, and about you. But read on. In Aalborg's world the ladies rule, and ignorance and bigotry hang twisting in the diesel fumes. FLATBED is your ticket to ride along."
Status: A chapter was recently published in the April issue (2006) of TRUCKER'S CONNECTION Magazine.Typing of the MS to disk to be resumed "directly".
"Only as a warrior can one survive the path of knowledge -- because the art of a warrior is to balance the terror of being a man with the wonder of being a man." -- Carlos Castaneda
HARRY & IVORY - A love story you have not heard before.
The Lincoln Continental hung at eye-level from the roof-rafters on chains, startlingly mute like the "Spirit of St. Louis" at the Smithsonian. It was a mint '79, and Harry's pride and joy. The last of the big hogs. Midnight blue. Tilt-wheel. AC. Power windows. Big 460 V-8.... As the late afternoon sun slid under the tobacco-barn roof through the open sides, the Lincoln's gleaming chrome glowed in burnished gold.
He hadn't met her yet but Harry could see her in it. He could feel her gratitude. He could see her pulling up to him at the curb on palm-lined Biscayne Boulevard in Miami. He recognized her from his dreams. Even when he was a boy he believed.
She sat so tall and elegant behind the wheel, and icy-cool, and ebony black. A ghetto princess shipped in from the jungles of darkest Africa by The Lord Himself, just for Harry.
The driver-side window was whirring down and Harry leaned forward to receive her kiss. Her lips, flushed with pink, parted.
"Do it have a title?"
Status: On disk. Ready to sacrifice to the "...indifference which comes from the snobs, arbiters, managers and conforming maniacs who manipulate most of the world of letters." (Norman Mailer) complete book temporarily online -- free, single-use, digital copy
CRUCIFIED, LAID, & BURIED - An epic-length thriller.
She lifted her chin while he turned the collar a little to get to the battery pack. Unclipping the small, 9-volt unit, he replaced it with a new one. "Energizer" brand because he liked the pink bunny commercials.
The collar covering the electrodes was made of thick, brown nylon and not very pretty. It was made for training dogs.
"Too tight?"
The all-star cast:
A
serial killer whose favorite prey is the rare, attractive female he can
snatch
from an abortion clinic picket line. Ladies whom he forces to copy by
hand
the most lurid texts from their own Bibles -- before he rapes them.A pimple-chested commando who believes the actresses in his X-rated video cassettes are real and worth saving at any cost, but couldn't care less whether his flesh-and-blood sex partners live or die.
A beautiful redhead, the unflappable antithesis of the female-as-victim, who dresses like the devil and shoots straighter than Jesus.
A sexy, bi-lateral amputee who walks on her hands and harbors wanted criminals in the enclave of her vast, dead husband's salvage yard.
A likable, fundamentalist preacher's kid who believes God helps him get laid.
A Jewish princess who killed her parents and believes she is the reincarnation of Elissa, Queen of ancient Carthage -- and does her exotic best to prove it.
And last but not least: a brace of lovely, virgin, black twins who pepper this bizarre, human porridge with their screams.
Status: The 1,100 page MS has finally been typed to disk (Feb 2005). No fire insurance.
sample chapter
PASSION'S BROTHER - A story your entire, dysfunctional family can enjoy. PG-13
"Passion's Bro." is told via the alternating POV of a boy, going on 16, and sister, 14. Reared by their caring but terminally-horny single parent, a medical supplies salesman, the adolescents' dating problems barely hold a candle to their father's.
System requirements: eighth-grade level, GED preferred. Except for the stand-alone, original story, the book-length sequel is in handwritten form on faded legal-pads.
Status: The sequel – length depending on the attention span the publisher intends to target – will be sold by the word or the pound to the highest bidder.
the story is temporarily online – free, single-use, digital copy
ECCLESIASTES - (anonymous)
9:7 Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works.
9:10 Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.
9:11 I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
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Humanism
with
attitude! "Aalborg is a stealth Humanist. Within his page-turning travelogues of violence, mystery, and bizarre sex lurks a secret inoculation, a dooming of consensus reality. While his public, male and female, hungrily feeds on Aalborg's entertaining and off-beat tales, nescience and superstition sportingly whither in the transport."
-- Ravi Penh-Mekong, as quoted in The Dalupiri Times.